Losing yourself like Don Jon’s way


(Don Jon painting I did in water color)

I read few days ago over the internet about a news that Bangalore topped in India as a city where people watch porn regularly. The news said that porn addiction has increased in the city and has resulted in people becoming socially inactive.

On a related note, last weekend I saw the recent film by Joseph Gordon Levitt “Don Jon”, the story of which revolves around a guy who is addicted to porn so much that he rates the real sexual encounters to be less interesting as compared to porn. The protagonist played exceptionally well by Levitt himself thinks its natural for a guy of his age to be addicted to porn. Still while confessing in the church, he admits that he had sinned by watching porn and having sexual relations out of wedlock. The story evolves as the guy looks for the moment when the pleasure that he derives out of watching porn will match in reality. He is caught once watching porn by his over demanding girlfriend who wants him to stop watching it and he agrees. Later we see him confessing in the church that he has stopped watching porn. But later it is revealed that the guy is still into addiction sub-consciously.

The situation, though exaggerated in the movie, comes very close to reality. Pornography is an all-time high these days as we have access to the content through various devices. The report in the news talked about the addiction of the young men affecting their sexual relations. They are unable to perform well in the real activity unless they watch porn.

The same is the scenario with the guy in the movie. He meets an older woman to whom he admits that he wants to lose himself in the sexual act the same way he does while watching porn. The woman asks him to try to please himself without watching porn. He finds himself unable to do so. The lesson later learned is that sex is a mutual experience. Losing one’s own self in the act is not a one-way thing. It has to be two ways.

The report in the news talked about IT laws governing publishing and distribution of content over the web. I don’t think laws can do much to prevent such addictions. First of all, its not immoral or a sin to watch porn. Secondly, the issue can be divided in two categories: one for unmarried, ignorant youngsters who can be handled through proper sex education in the right age. The second category is of married, middle aged men who can come out of the addiction if they have real relation as a mutual experience and not one-way. For getting lost means getting lost in someone and not in the act itself.



About Mrinal Rai

I am a story teller. My unconscious self works a 9 hours a day in IT paying my due credits to my educational qualifications (read degrees). My conscious self is always busy 24X7 weaving new stories and trying to find out ways to tell them. I have authored a book, drawn few comic books, graphic novels and more are on the way :)
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